Why I got banned from Yahoo Answers within 20 minutes of creating an account

After trying to check up on a question I'd asked on Yahoo Answers during my 20 minute stint of trying to give back to the community (come on, this question was simply burning in my mind, so I figured asking it would be helping out a few others who might be wondering the same thing)... I realised why I'd been banned.

Well, apart all the quick-fire trolling I did, and the fact that I listed this site on my user profile, I'm guessing the removal of my question indicates the main reason why my account was "suspended".

Because I couldn't actually check for answers on my now inactive account, I googled my question: "If a man takes pleasure from doing a very thick and large poo, does that mean he could be homosexual?"






But Alas!








So thanks, Yahoo Answers community! Now I'll never know if Ted is subconsciously gay. Or whether I might actually enjoy anal sex.

Yahoo Answers - Giving back to the community #1

So, I decided I would do some good - and give back to the interweb community by answering a few questions on Yahoo Answers.

Sadly my venture into altruism (altrollism?) was short-lived. It took me approximately 20minutes to get my account suspended.

Anyway, here are some of the poor souls I helped out (click for larger images):

Fun with Cars

Being bored and having a car to use can be fun. Here are some things you can do to entertain yourself and others if you want to bring em along for the ride.

The Tail
Get on the freeway and find someone to follow but you must follow them for a good distance. Example follow them home or to the store they are going to. (warning if you follow them home i don't suggest you hang around too long as you might find yourself in handcuffs)

Collecting
This one is a lot easier with another person. Drive around and pick up as many traffic cones, open house signs and whatever else you can stop and dump in your car. After you have collected a good amount of random stuff off the street find a house. Unload everything quickly on to the unsuspecting persons front yard then leave.

Motivating Athletes
This requires a car stereo and the song Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. While driving around a random neighborhood find a jogger and follow them while blasting the intro to the song mentioned before and repeating intro over and over out the window.

When hairdressers know best

If you're like me, you are a little on the late side those "three-monthly" hairdresser visits. (And, if you're like Ted, you take unwarranted pride in the laceration of your own locks.)

But, if you do delay that trip to the snippity-snip, then you might share my little beef.

As established, I don't get my hair cut too regularly. I despise the fact that I get to make the delightful non-choice between a $5 hack-n-slash and a $325 treatment-of-the-stars, with no sanity in between. It seems that a long time ago hairdressing professionals decided that there were two fronts to the haircut business - people who want cheap cuts, and people who want good cuts.

And believe me, I've been around the hair chopping block, and there is rarely anything in between. Apparently you can't have that low-fat-triple-choc-fudge-cheesecake and keep it down too.

So, eventually I get a little flush of money and decide to pamper myself with a trip to a salon. Either that, or my split ends become so coarse that they start to leave small grazes in my shoulders - making wearing tank tops a little painful.

Inevitably, I'll sit my mess of crinkle-cut hair down in that swivel chair, get collared by that back-to-front cape, and prepare my ears for a session of scolding. Yep, that's right. Not only do you get to pay these people an extraordinary amount of money to slice incredibly close to your face, but you also get to be their bitch for the aalf-hour.

I'm always in trouble when I get to the hairdresser. Always. Whether I spent the last six months tending it only with the most expensive and extensive line of sold-only-in-salons treatments, or whether I washed it once a month with the $1.99 shampoo from the Best Buy Bin and, for the most part, tied it in a bun instead of brushing out the tangles. Either way, I'm still in trouble.

My hair is always in "dreadful" condition. Tsk tsk. I'm washing it too much, apparently. Or not enough. Or not with the right shampoo. Or the right conditioner. I shouldn't blow dry. I shouldn't leave it wet. I shouldn't wet it at all.

It gets to me.

I go there, empty out half a week's pay and get berated in the bargain.

So, when the hairdresser starts lecturing me about how I should be using this salon-specific shampoo with that $57 100ml bottle of glorified soap, I like to respond like this:

• "Oh, so I should be washing my hair with Shampoo!"
• "Wait, you mean the stuff you sold me last time wasn't a health shake?"
• "Do you recommend shampoo or soap for pubic hair? And, if so, should I condition too for that silky smooth look?"
• "Yep, today I'll be having the cut and blow job, thanks."
• "Is it true you can get hair-herpes by grinding your head in a prostitutes groin? Coz that could be a problem for me."
• "What do you mean you're not a doctor?"
  

My bad. I guess you didn't say "Rinse and re-sweet" after all.

The Shameless and Completely Inappropriate Promotion of our Blog: #1

So, we were looking at our blog today and realised it was missing one of the key components of a successful blog:

People that read it.

Well, that is, people other than us.

So, we set about in trying to link our blog on related sites. And, being the deviant trolls that we are, we tried to be as appropriate and relevant as possible.

Ted decided to start off by trolling some YouTube Tool videos.

While he was off making fanboys QQ, I decided I'd promote our blog by contributing to a Theological discussion on a Mormon forum. Great idea right?

Well... my attempt at trolling brought up the unexpected requirement for the kind of ridiculous over-dedication to a pointless cause that I am so willing to provide. After registering, I was forced to make at least TWENTY posts on their forums before I was allowed to drop my link.

These twenty posts allowed me to undergo a little side trollage. I replied to an extensive (200 replies+) discussion on the thread "Where will you spend eternity?" with the insightful comment:

But then, I kinda felt bad for bringing a sophisticated debate on the final destination of such obviously learned and devout followers to a statement so simple and moronic. So I quickly added:

Feigning interest in religion enough to comment on these thread 20 times in a row does get a little boring, even for me. So, I must confess that the majority of my posts were created by simply quoting the most recent post and agreeing. Like so:

Lastly, I fulfilled my quota with this little gem (suggested to me by my Trolling sensei - Ted):

So, with 20 posts under my belt like a good little religious poster, I finally got to shamelessly and completely inappropriately promote our blog, sending maybe one or two mormons to Ted's (related) 5 Random Trollages post:

Friends don't let friends be chronic fanboys

5 Random Trollages

• In my experience Mormons are best deterred from visiting your house by simply answering the door naked. Giving them a Satanic Bible, for good measure, can also be helpful.

• If you work in customer service, squid jerky can make your job a lot easier. (However this does require a job were you talk to people face to face.) The smell of fish can go a long way.A long, long way... away.

• Have a problem with guests overstaying their welcome? Dropping a deuce with the door open is a an easy fix.

• If, like me, you sometimes have the desire make people around you uncomfortable, making biting motions and pushing your face closer and closer to theirs is one of my favorites.

• Being annoying can be a very creative art. For example, say you have a musical instrument (any will do). Playing it well can be hard, however, playing music like a spastic is both fun and entertaining.